Carol the Coach: Know Your Greatness



Successful people visualize themselves as empowered.  They have discovered the formula for greatness, consciously and unconsciously.  They believe in their own worth.  They see themselves as living the life they were born to live before it occurs. 


Do you visualize yourself as a success?  Did you know that you can accomplish anything if you envision it and then follow through?  If you think it, you can manifest it.  If you want it, you must feed the thoughts.


Are there things in your life that you would like to accomplish or achieve, yet you have self doubt?  Do you have difficulty believing in yourself?  Know that you have every asset you need to make your dreams a reality. It’s essential to believe in yourself and use your mind to access greatness.  This world wants you to be happy, self-fulfilled, and creating prosperity for yourself and others. 



If I told you that you were absolutely capable of doing anything that you put your mind to…would the voice of self-doubt speak louder?  Here’s a plan to quiet that voice.


Find a secluded place and write down 50 of your lifetime dreams.  Do it as fast as you can and ignore any self-doubt.  Did you imagine becoming a billionaire or owning a football team or acting on Broadway.  Maybe you envisioned owning a company, flying a plane, traveling around the world, or going to college. 


As you quietly listen to your dreams, train yourself to do the following:   

·         WRITE IT.  Write how you will play out your success— in all of its detail.  Would there be board meetings to attend, a church mission to pursue, a stage where you would perform, a book signing?   Write anywhere from three paragraphs to 30 pages detailing your vision. 

·         SEE IT.  Visualize it.  Close your eyes and spend one- to three minutes envisioning where you would be, what you would be doing, and who would be with you.   Access at least three out of the five senses and imagine how it would feel, what it would look like, how it would sound, and even perhaps what success would taste or smell like. 

·         SAY IT.  Pick an affirmation for yourself and say it 30 times throughout your day.  It can be simple as, “I was born for greatness”; “I will change the world in positive ways”; “I will make a difference in the lives of children”; “I will run a successful company” or “I will make more money than I can spend”.   

·         BELIEVE IT.  Know that you’re using your mind to create your reality.  Your mind is the foundation for the dream.  Faith in yourself is an essential element to create your dream.


Why is it necessary to spend so much time cultivating your thoughts? 

You need to feed yourself with positive thoughts, primarily because of the way you were socialized as a child.  Your self-esteem took a hit as people started to expect you to confirm to the norm.  Unfortunately, many children heard the word “no” more than they heard the word “yes”.  Often, we are molded into the safer expectations in life.  Parents want the best for their kids, so they try to steer them toward what is safe.   You were not born to play it safe.  You were born for greatness! Feeding your mind powerful thoughts is a tool that activates your potential.  So, follow this formula daily and make your life happen. You can accomplish anything with the proper support, one thought at a time. 


Carol the Coach: Be Authentic

Do you have difficulty feeling genuine around people?  Do you ignore your feelings, fears and insecurities and project an image that prevents people from knowing the real you?  Are you the type of person who hides your vulnerabilities in an attempt to hide your pain?  If this sounds like you, then it is likely that you don’t talk, trust, or feel in your relationships with others.

Human beings basically have the same needs.  However, some are born needing more while others are born needing less.  It is your upbringing and genetics that helps you to determine the intensity for which you need attention, affection, love and nurturance from others. 
If you grew up taking care of others it is likely that your basic needs were not met. As you grew older, you might have felt uncomfortable when others tried to take care of you.  More than likely, you kept your feelings hidden and were not even aware that they were there. (Suppressing your feelings interfered with your ability to trust other people.)
Children with unmet needs learn how to suppress them. This also insulates them  from the pain of not having those needs met.  Children develop a reaction formation. Inside they are needy but outside they may appear confident, capable, and self-assured. They learn self-sufficiency to avoid needing others. 

For example, most people have the need to be touched. Some require more affection than others.  If they didn't get enough affection as a child they may deny the need and develop the preference not to be touched.     People are unable to physically get close to them.  It appears that they don't want the emotional connection that accompanies affection; when in reality; the need is buried deep inside of them. 

People who don't express their needs typically don’t talk, trust, or feel. They have difficulty being true to their selves. They don’t trust that they can share with others their true thoughts or feelings.  As a result, they are unable to identify what their genuine needs are. They may begin to medicate their unconscious feelings with drugs, alcohol, work, or other compulsions. Some people may overcompensate by over-working.  Their self-esteem may be based solely on achievements and accomplishments because they have no sense of their own authenticity.  In many cases, children whom have been abused or lived in alcoholic families have difficulty with talking, feeling, and trusting.

If you struggle with these issues you will find the following suggestions helpful.  

Work on sharing your thoughts
•    Find someone with whom you can share your innermost feelings. 
•    Attend a group that will support your recovery.
•    Pick a counselor who will help you develop the trust you need to feel safe. 
Assess your primary feelings daily
•    Use a journal to identify your feelings for each day.  Choose one of the following feelings: happiness, sadness, anger, loneliness and fear to assist you in how you feel on a daily basis. Rating your day will give you practice in feeling identification. Your feelings can guide your decisions.
Find people who are safe and that you can trust
•    Begin to take tiny risks that address your vulnerabilities.
•    Find people who will validate you and help you to work through your feelings. 
•    Believe that your life will be better when you begin to face your fears and get real about who you are--feelings, insecurities and all.  

Be true to yourself and resolve to discover the real you.  It takes courage to share your vulnerabilities. Learning to get your needs met is worth the risk.