Carol the Coach: Your Personal Truth

What is your personal truth? Each person has a belief system that contributes to their sense of self. Your personal truth helps to define who you are and what you can accomplish in your life. Your personal truths are positive and negative messages that contribute to how you feel about yourself. They become a life force that feeds your sense of self. Your personal truth dictates what you can accomplish in this world. It either encourages you to strive for your best or it limits your capabilities.

Personal truths are life fulfilling. Can you identify some of the thoughts that resonate inside of you? They may be positive thoughts:

• I can make difference in this world
• I deserve good things in life
• I am powerful
• I was born for greatness
• I can accomplish anything
• People like me
• I am fun to be around
• I am smart
• I am creative

Some personal truths may be negative:

• I’m not college material
• I deserve what I get
• I’m too stupid to go anywhere
• No one will ever love me
• I will never be married
• I don’t count
• I can’t lose weight
• I’m not pretty enough
• I’m not smart enough
• I’m not rich enough

When people are happy and feel self-actualized, they believe in themselves and their capabilities. They see a problem, a situation, or a project, and imagine themselves accomplishing it. Their personal truth is one of mastery. It feeds into their “possibility thinking.” They believe that they can affect change. If you have personal truths that are self-defeating, you will sell yourself short. If you don’t think you are deserving of finding Mr. Right, you will likely settle for a mediocre relationship that reinforces your negative self-worth. If you don’t see yourself as smart enough, you won’t ask for that job promotion. If you ask and get turned down, it will reinforce that you didn't deserve it anyway.

Do you know some of your own personal truths? Write them out as it can be very illuminating and insightful to figure out what helps to guide you in this world. It also helps you to identify what is working for you and what’s working against you. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. The first step to self-improvement is identifying the powerful belief system that contributes to your emotional foundation. Write out three positive truths and three negative personal truths. Honor the positives by recognizing how they have motivated and guided you. Look at the negative personal truths and ask what you can do to change them. Everyone has both negative and positive personal truths. People who are self confident have learned how to alter their negative personal truths into a healthier, more realistic assessment of their total self. The good news is that anyone can take their negative self talk and beliefs and learn to accept them in a gentler form.

In next month's column, I will be sharing some of my negative personal truths with you so that you can see how to do the work. Although I have very good self esteem, it did not come with out a lot of work. So your assignment is to join me on this journey so that you will better understand how to apply this in your own life. Do the assignment while it is fresh in your mind and see you next month for some personal examples!

Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW PCC is a psychotherapist and personal life coach. She does motivational speaking and empowerment trainings locally and nationally. To find out more about her services–contact her at www.carolthecoach.com or call her at 317 218-3479. You can watch Carol the Coach segments on WTHR’s Channel 13 Wednesdays @ 12:50PM.