Carol the Coach: Processing Pain is Good for the Soul

Bad things happen to good people all the time. It is likely that you grew up with some unfortunate things that have happened to you. Enlightened people will want to work on processing these events so that they can understand them better and grow from them. That is truly one aspect of living a good life. When trauma occurs it is so very important to acknowledge the feelings and work through the pain so that you can make sense of your world and redirect your life in a purposeful way.

I work with lots of people who have experienced trauma. The initial trauma occurred in their childhood and usually they did not have the support or resources to help them to resolve it as it was happening or directly afterwards. The trauma might have been living with an alcoholic parent, or being physically, emotionally or sexually abused or living in chronic poverty. If they aren't given the opportunity to process and work through it; there is a high likelihood that they will experience it as an adult. The only way we can make sense of that is to understand that until it is fully understood and resolved in one's own psyche, the trauma will return to the person so they can figure it out and truly reprocess it. Once my client has worked through the issues, she will undoubtedly feel stronger, healthier, and better able to you use the skills she learned from resolving the trauma to better her life. This typically means that she also has to go through the process of forgiveness because forgiveness allows her to let it go.

It is the process of letting go that will allow her and encourage her to find meaningful ways of growing and contributing to life so that she feels good about herself. 

All the great theorists say that it is the suffering that promotes human beings to grow into people that are fully actualized and evolved. I know many of you are reading this and may be saying "Why do we need to experience so much suffering to actualize growth?" Well what I believe to be true is that life does have much purpose and if one does not deal with the past pains one cannot learn and get healthier. If you don't work through the pain, you will likely stay stuck and blocked from allowing good things to come into your life. As a therapist, it saddens me to watch clients repeatedly experience hardships, and yet the work they do to work through it makes them stronger, wiser and more self actualized!

Time for Reflection

  • Have you been through some pain in your childhood that continues to haunt you?
  • Do you believe that it has blocked you from growing?
  • Has it showed up in your life again in a different way?
  • Have you sought out support and resources to help you work through the pain?
  • Has your suffering made you stronger?
  • Can you list the ways that you have grown?
  • And if you have been trying to do this on your own, you have more than likely felt alone because of the trauma that occurred in your past. If this is the case, are you willing to seek out support and resources to help you work through the pain now?

You deserve to get healthy and release yourself from the pain. Get some help so that you can heal and use your past to strengthen the future!

Carol Juergensen Sheets, LCSW PCC is a psychotherapist and personal life coach. SHe does motivational speaking and empowerment trainings locally and nationally. To find out more about her services, contact her at or call her at 317-218-3479. You can watch Carol the Coach segments on WTHR's Channel 13 Wednesdays at 12:50PM.