There is no doubt that “doing life alone” can be very difficult. Single people believe that having a partner makes life much easier. The truth of the matter is that often times people in a coupleship can also feel very alone. If you feel your plight is “do it alone” than it is important to believe that the “universe has your back.” Faith is the belief that something outside of yourself is there to support you no matter how big the obstacles.
Are you someone who feels that you have to do everything by yourself? Do people see you as controlling? Do you think it's easier taking care of things solely by yourself? Are you someone who no longer believes that things can really work out for the best?
Only you can decide to change your mental attitude and believe that life is here to support you. Most people do this by believing in a higher power, God, or the Universe. When things get really tough, they are able to turn their situation over to the Universe and believe that things are happening that can teach them great lessons and strengthen them. Do you have a knowing that God has your back? Do you have faith that good things will come out of it?
My clients that have the toughest times with this concept have either gone through a lot of trauma and therefore they have an unconscious belief the good things will never come to them or they have grown up in families where one parent took total control and hurt other family members.
They have been taught that they should not trust others, not trust a higher power, and solely rely on themselves to survive. As you may well know, this survival strategy helped them to feel safe in childhood but when used to the extreme can end up being a psychological obstacle to trusting others. And when this occurs, it becomes difficult to trust that life is there to support them.
If this is you…..try the following homework assignment.
Spend a day shifting your attitude. When things get rough, ask your higher power, “How can I grow from this and what can I depend on to get me through this hard time other than myself?”
This kind of exercise trains the brain to think about life differently and to seek out resources that are available because of your new found faith. If after a month, you find yourself not being able to rely on others, or a higher power to support you, it may require that you seek out a coach, a counselor, or a person who is well respected in the religious community to help redirect you and your thinking.
Faith and belief that you are not alone is imperative to feeling supported and accessing the resources that are truly available to you so that you don't have to do it alone!
Carol Juergensen Sheets, LCSW PCC is a psychotherapist and personal life coach. SHe does motivational speaking and empowerment trainings locally and nationally. To find out more about her services, contact her at www.carolthecoach.com or call her at 317-218-3479. You can watch Carol the Coach segments on WTHR's Channel 13 Wednesdays at 12:50PM.