Carol the Coach: The Inner and Outer Blocks

I am always challenging my clients to pursue new activities and goals to stretch their minds and to develop new neuro-circuitry in the brain. One of most exciting things about how we view brain science is that we used to believe that the brain could only hold a certain amount of information and as one got older, it was more difficult to change our thinking. But now we know that the brain is very flexible and it thrives on the plasticity that occurs when you change old habits, learn something new, or increase positive emotions. In other words, we can train our brain to try new behaviors, or pursue new adventures or feel differently about the outcomes.
That is good news for anyone who has wanted to change their life for the better. Is there something that you have wanted to pursue but you thought it might be too difficult to do?                                                Did you make up excuses?
•    I don’t have time right now
•    I don’t have enough money.
•    I don’t have enough support.
•    I am too busy to add this to my plate.
The Practical Steps
If I met with you in person, I would be encouraging you to clearly right down an: intentional statement” that identified what you wanted to change about your life. Next, you would brainstorm how you might achieve the long-term goal.  Together we would look at a monthly planner and you would identify weekly what you could do to break down the action steps to move closer to your goals. Lastly, I would encourage you to evaluate how the first month went and we would tweak your “deliverables” for the second month.
The Inner Work    
Most often a client will be able to actualize the steps to move closer to their goals, however the emotional issues come up and get in the way of progress. Some very common themes that psychologically block a client for creating the life they deserve is: 
•    I am not good enough. 
•    I don’t have what it takes to make my life happen.
•    Nothing ever works out for me.
•    I will likely fail.
The limiting beliefs set you up to believe that you don’t deserve success and ultimately it keeps from getting it. Perhaps you received these messages as a child. Or you may have met with some significant setbacks in your life that kept you feeling down, depressed or undeserving.
When inner blocks get in the way, it requires a series of mental exercises to turn it around.  Although the exercises are hard work, they pay huge dividends when it comes to believing in yourself! First you need to get in a quiet place and ask yourself why you don’t feel good enough. And as reasons come up you need reassure yourself that you have exactly what you need to accomplish your goals. Visualize yourself mastering them and remind yourself that you are a work in progress. Next you must look at failure differently and look for opportunities to fail because that insures that you stretched out of your comfort zone and tried something different which develops more neuro-circuitry. Lastly, you need to praise yourself for taking the risk and repeat the mantra that “I didn’t fail …. I just added something to my repertoire that didn’t work this time around.” When you reframe your circumstances, you feel better and you move forward on your action steps and ultimately this works you closer to your goals. So spend some time working on your inner and outer blocks and see the growth that occurs!