Carol the Coach: Embracing the Struggle

Has anyone ever told you to embrace what you want to change? The secret of truly attaining success is seeing the positive in your situation despite the fact that you need to create change in your life.  This can be incredibly tricky, because most people who want to change are seriously disgruntled with their current situation.  They are disgusted with themselves.   They frequently are negative about their dilemma, or they blame others for their demise. 

 Yet the key to healthy change is to accept the strength that is in your current situation.  Once you have done this, you can move closer to meeting your goals because you have developed an appreciation for being in the present moment. You may fear that if you see the strength in your current situation, you might not have the motivation to change. But in reality, it is just the opposite. When you recognize your present-day power, it gives you more energy to make change. Reaching a goal requires persistence and stamina. You need a sense of positive energy to keep the goal alive. Staying positive helps you to stay motivated.

 When I work with a client who wants to make more money, we spend time talking about how their current income has positively served them in their life.  If I meet with a couple who wants to improve their relationship, I won’t proceed until they can convince me that there are several things, they appreciate about each other in their present state.  If I see a client who wants to lose weight, I ask them to list the things they currently like about their bodies, and their weight.  When I work with a single person who wants to find a mate, I ask them to discuss the many advantages there are to being a single person. 

What I know from my work with people is that it is imperative in the development of a new mindset for them to be positive about how their current issue has served them.  All too often, the client’s negative feelings about the problem sabotages the progress that they can make in their goal development.  In other words, if a client is to be successful, they must not loathe their body, their partner, their income, or their single status.  Maintaining a positive attitude is not only a prerequisite for change, but it is necessary to keep them going when they run into “dry spells” or hit plateaus.

 What would you like to change in your life?  Most likely, you have a list of things that could use some self-improvement.  Spend about ten minutes writing them down.  It’s easy to maintain them in your head, but if you really want to change, you need to write them down.  

Apply what you have learned in today’s column by writing down what you have enjoyed or appreciated about your current dilemma.  If you are having difficulty, ask yourself what has this experience taught me and how has it served me?  When you write it down you are more likely to make it happen.

I realize that this assignment is difficult, because it doesn’t look like you’re changing anything.  Yet, what I am really asking you to do is change your attitude, which is the first step in attaining success.  Give it a shot.  Put it down as Part I in the formula for a change.  It should make you feel better about yourself and will get you closer to the person you really want to be!