Discover Your “WHY” in Life

Do you know your “Why” in life? In April of 2009, a near-death experience helped me to discover my WHY in life. The Neuro-surgeon basically said he couldn’t explain how I survived the subarachnoid hemorrhage without suffering any type of brain damage, but I was very, very lucky. Be it luck or divine intervention, it certainly caused me to re-evaluate my life. 

“He who has a why can endure any how” ~ Frederick Nietzsche.  Your "why" motivates you, pushes you when you feel like giving up, helps you succeed when things look impossible and encourages you to go after your dreams. On the days that you feel like throwing in the towel, your why reminds you why you started on your journey and keeps you strong enough to continue moving forward. Your why may change throughout your life, but the questions you need to ask yourself in order to stay focused and overcome all the obstacles, remain about the same.

What is my definition of success?
We all have our own definition of success. Your definition is yours, no one else’s, so you don’t need anyone’s approval and acceptance. But you do need to know what your definition of success is to understand what your end goal is and why you’re working for it. If you define success as being able to pay the bills and that’s what motivates you, there’s nothing wrong with that.

Once you come up with your definition, dig a little deeper and ask yourself why that is your definition of success. The deeper you dig, the clearer your why becomes and the more motivated you will become to reach it.

What am I passionate about?
Ask yourself if you’re passionate about what you’re doing and, if not, what you are passionate about. What excites you? What gets you going and motivates you to keep going? Find your why and then pursue it with gusto.

You will find more personal and professional fulfillment at the place where natural talent and skill meets your personal passion. That is the place where you will find your motivation and be able to maintain it.

If money were no object, what would I do?
To some degree money is a driver for all of us. So, look at the job you’re doing every day and ask yourself if you’d still be doing it if money was no object. What would you do? Really think about what your dream circumstance would be. Pursue a career you love and look forward to giving your all so you can be your best.

So, how are you going to work toward that? How are you going to change your current circumstances (or use them as a vehicle) to reach that end goal of living a life of purpose and passion? It may not be something you can do overnight, but it can be the why that gets you up in the morning and motivates you to give your all now so you can have the future you dream of.

One of the biggest “whys” in my life is to be a positive role model for my kids.  It’s what I’m passionate about, and when I do see the positive choices they are making, I feel like I’ve succeeded. You won’t ever reach your goals unless you do plug into your why and reassess from time to time. A clear sense of purpose, enables you to focus your efforts on what matters most.

Shelly Aristizabal is the author of This Is Your Year to Design & Live the Life of Your Dreams, a leader in the Community Commerce Industry, Motivational Speaker and New President of Business Women Connect. Visit for details on our upcoming events in the Indianapolis area!


Five Ways to Start the New Year Off Right

Its a New Year.  Today is the perfect time to follow these 5 ways to start the year off right, and take charge of what you are getting out of life.


#1 Do a yearly review


Take a look at where youve been and celebrate the successes in the last year.  Ask yourself these types of questions:


    What went well for me last year?

    What accomplishments did I have?

    How did I improve my life?

    How did I improve my relationships?

    What did I remove from my life that is now making me happier?

    What do I wish I had taken more time for?


Keep a journal of these questions and your responses that you can refer back to in the future: your answers over the years will be very enlightening.


Ask these types of questions about all the important areas of your life, such as family, relationships, financial, career, home, etc. These questions will help you appreciate all youve accomplished in the previous year, and you can use this information to start the new year off right.


#2 Finish what you started


Which projects, errands, and general list of to-do items do you have left over from the previous year that you can complete in 2 hours or less?


Keeping projects around doesnt do us any goodthey just weigh on our minds, and people will spend hours thinking about something that will only take 10 minutes to take care of. Cross those things off your list and give yourself a fresh start.


#3 Be realistic


Dreaming is fabulous, but if you want to make some improvements in your life, you need to be realistic. As much as you may want something, its very likely you dont really believe you can have it. (If you did you would already have achieved it.) We have to turn a dream into something we can visualize accomplishing before it can become a reality.


Take your dream and start breaking it down into goals: if you want to work from home, what are the steps you need to take? Break those steps down further so you can create a game-plan and start working towards accomplishing that dream.


#4 Focus on what you really want


Speaking of dreaming, ask yourself what your dream looks like. What are you doing in the dream? How are you living? Who is in the dream with you? What does a typical day entail?


These questions will help you define what lifestyle you really want, and give you ideas about how you can achieve that lifestyle. For example, if you see yourself relaxing by the fire with a good book and a cup of tea, ask yourself why you arent spending more time that way now. What things are in your way and how can you re-arrange your priorities in order to have the lifestyle you really want?



#5 Put yourself at the top of the list


Using the information youve discovered above by determining what you really want, put yourself at the top of the list this year. The old adage is true; we really cant help others until we help ourselves. Taking care of yourself and striving to reach your own goals will make you a better spouse, friend, co-worker, and parent.


Be sure to make time for yourself each day to work toward your goals, and pursue the lifestyle you want. Happy New Year!